when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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