sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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