Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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