Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I came so hard my ears popped.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize