WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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