so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
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Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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