i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize