you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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