I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize