Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize