I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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