u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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