I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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