We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize