he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize