she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize