I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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