why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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