we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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