haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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