is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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