I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her vagine was all disorganized.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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