By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
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I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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