Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize