matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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