YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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