that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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