All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
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Tornado booty call.. dedication
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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