Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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