I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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