I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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