She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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