My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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