You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize