I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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