Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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