I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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