What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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