Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize