he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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