you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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