Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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