Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize