yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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