my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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