she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize