im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize