And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize