I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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