I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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